A Cookie's Life

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Mugger Mode Effects.avi

[Glass Cookie (GC) enters the car to meet the professor. Although there was a question in GC's mind as to whether the car belonged to the professor, such questions, as GC has evaluated in a jiffy, are best kept not asked (I mean, who on earth would go up to a professor in a car and ask, "Hi Prof, say... the car that you're in... does it belong to you?"?)]

GC (slightly uncomfortable to be in a prof's car, with a worry of doing something wrong like scratching something): Hi Prof!

Prof: Hi. Now, I have this question for you. Do you remember the shear stress equation: T = VQ/It?

GC: Hmmm, I think so.

GC's thoughts: Well, I've been mugging stuff like that for the past few days. I bet it should be a simple question although he's known to LOVE this subject and creating/asking questions of all sorts.

[Prof brings out a piece of paper with lots of equations and words]

GC's thoughts: Hmmm, not so easy after all.

Prof (pointing at a particular equation): OK, good. So what does the letter 'V' represent?

GC's thoughts: Hey, this question IS easy. I know it, I know it, I...

GC (thinking hard): Hmmm... hmmm... HMMMM... [GC look blankly at the piece of paper]

Prof (with a concerned and I-can't-believe-you-don't-know-it expression): Hey [GC's name], how could you not know? Do you know when's your MOM paper?

[note: MOM is an abbreviation that all engineering students and professors use for Mechanics of Materials. MOM has got nothing to do with my mum (which may be spelt/pronounced as 'mommy' in certain countries).]

GC's thoughts: Hmmm, that would be... tomorrow? Say, is this a rhetorical question? Is he waiting for an answer? Think it'll be safer to indicate it rather than say it.

[GC nods his head]

Prof (somewhat looking shocked): And you can't tell me what's 'V' in this equation?

GC's thoughts: Hey, I bet I know this, but... but...

Prof (trying not to be irritated): Never mind ah (yup, my prof's a Singaporean). I'll give you some time to think about it.

[Prof leaves the car and goes off somewhere, leaving GC behind to ponder over his (ie. the prof's - GC didn't ask anything) question]

GC's thoughts: This is bad. Very bad. R-e-a-l-l-y bad bad bad bad baaaaaaaaaad....

[GC continues to stone at the paper (and definitely not thinking of whether a pair of scissors is required to form the complete components of scissors-paper-stone) and wondering as to why he did not know what 'V' stood for, rather than trying to figure to what is 'V'. Then, the prof returns back into the car]

Prof (with that look which says: OK, I feel that the time I have given you is more than enough to get a satisfactory answer now): So, [GC's name], are you ready to answer my question? What is 'V'?

GC's thoughts: Oh no, this is bad. I bet I knew what 'V' was but for some reason I don't know it. And, I am not ready to answer his question.

GC (looking apologetic): Sorry, I don't know.

Prof (looking obviously irritated): What? You don't know what 'V' is? What have you been doing in this semester???!!!

GC's thoughts: Oh no. Is my paper going to me messed up at this rate? How could I not know? Arrrgh... arrrgh... ARRRRRGH!!!! (it's amazing how GC's mind/brain could contain >200 decibels of 'ARRRGH's without failing structurally with all those vibrations)

And then, I awoke (thankfully), to realise that this nightmare ended around 6:30 to 7:00 a.m. in the morning. And considering that the last time I got up to drink a little water was around 3 plus (I tried sleeping at 1 plus already), my subconscious is definitely not helping me in anyway.

Apparently, my subconscious tried to remind me that I do not know how to derive the 'Q' component well enough in that equation (I shall not describe that equation and start a lecture series when you could simply enter NTU engineering and find that out for yourselves) and somehow, mugger mode, being a beta version, caused my subconscious to assume that I didn't know 'V'. Today's paper was, well, I'm not too sure about it. It was kind of hard to me when everyone else seemed to know how to do it. I guess it's the time of the year where I would start hoping that people around would start scoring badly so that I would pass it decently. And since this paper is a pre-requisite for subjects in future semesters, failing it would definitely cause me to take up a piano dip - for sure.

Thought: Oh well, at least that paper's finally over. Looking forward to a night without physical headaches after suffering that for the past 2 days. And, I need to pray a LOT for this paper now, since it seemed messy/messed up to me.

posted by Glass Cookie @ 6:41 PM 



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List Of My All-Time Big Stunts In M&D

30 Jul 2006 - When Silence Is Golden 2
It's funny how history repeats itself in a different form. This time, I minimised the volume of the keyboard to zero to try out a new song "I believe in miracles". And for yet (again, miraculously, ironically) another bizarre reason that I know not of, I actually turned the volume up WITHOUT knowing - and CONTINUED practising. Somehow the amplifiers were turned off by the sound guys (probably a safety measure against stuntmen like me?) until they could finally silence it no more and suddenly, out of the nowhere (oh, sorry, that would be the keyboard) came a loud note that penetrated the silence. I jerked in shock (very obviously). And yes, once again it's during the announcement time when silence is definitely golden.



04 Jun 2006 - Time and Congregation Waits For No Man
It was another faithful day in church, playing the keyboard for morning service, 9 and 11 a.m. After the 2nd service praise & worship session, it so happened that no one else could make it for the closing song. Well, since I was pretty free, I was asked to play it. So, I went down, charted out the chords, practised the piece in the tabernacle. On my way up the stairs, the first thought in my mind was: "Hey, it's so crowded. I need to get up the stairs. Now, how do I queeeeeze my way through?". The second thought in my mind was: "Hey, why is there a crowd coming down at this time? ... ... ... NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Man, time passes fast when you're practising the piano in church, and painstakingly slowly when it comes to exam pieces.



[No date] When Silence Is Golden
It was during the announcement, when pastor was giving out announcements before the offering song. Silence was observed as the pastor spoke. I retracted my hand from the score folder beyond the keyboard. For some amazing reason, my hand retraction path headed for the keys of the keyboard. And since the word 'fast' to describe the retraction rate was an understatement (for yet another reason I know not of)... you know the rest of the story.



[No Date] When Silence Is... Anything But Golden
Hmmm... once the amplifier on my side was switched off for some reason during praise & worship. And for some other reason that I know not of, I thought that the keyboard sound couldn't be heard. So, I tried pressing some keys. Didn't hear anything - drums were too loud. I proceeded to bang some keys repeatedly until... hmmm... I thought I heard something. Oh oh... ONLY my amplifier was turned off. (Note: Instrument: Brass sect 1, volume - max.)




List Of Other Small Stunts/Experiences In M&D

Fastest Fingers First
As a keyboardist, one usually comes into contact with different instruments within the same piece. It usually varies from strings, brass, violin to organ sounds. The funny thing is that sometimes, it is possible that your mind suddenly goes blank, and when the next instrument is required, I go "Oh no, what's the number combination for brass???!!! Wait wait wait wait...". And as usual, time and tide waits for no man. No. More accurately, a drummer waits for no number-fumbling keyboardist. Yea, that's the description man. Solution (ok, this is not a solution but an undesired consequence): Play a brass part with strings, or an organ part with brass, or none at all.



Cold Fingers
Usually, the atmosphere in the sanctuary is very cold to me. Sometimes, the atmosphere in the sanctuary is deep-freeze cold. Under cold or colder conditions, the fingers may or will harden and lose its dexterity. Then again, stuff could still be played, however stiff the fingers may be (with diminishing quality). Solution? Rub them while resting, or else, take off one playing hand and rub it vigorously without catching too much attention. I mean, what else can i do? I remove both hands when I need them ON they keyboard!!! Oh, I missed out that hand-clapping would be a sure kill to whatever heat you may have desperately tried to generate.



Record Breaker
Well, each week CD-RWs and envelopes used to contain the scores passed to musicians would be recycled. They are returned back to the musician's basket in the metal cabinet so that they can be used again. Of course, each time a person would return his/her envelope and CD used the previous week. Well, just somewhere in the 3rd week of June 2006 I returned a record holding of (prehaps of all-time in Lighthouse Evangelism's 16 years of establishment) of 9 envelopes with 3 missing somewhere at home. Oh well, you can't really blame me cause for the first time in my life, I saw the word "envelope" in the sms reminder about recycling. Or at least I would like to think so, about my first time noticing that word (fingers crossed).



Stubborn Pedal
Do you have any idea what it is like to have a pedal refusing to budge when moved with your feet, only to exceed its ideal position when you decide to set your adjusting strength to "brutal level". At that kind of rate, it just never gets to the position that you want it to be. Last resort: Bend down and move it with your hand just before the drummer starts his 4-beat intro to the next song.



Moving Pedal
Amazingly, although the pedal refuses to budge when you want it to, somehow it also refuses to stay in the spot when you want it to. And the more you pedal, the further it gets away from you no matter how you position your foot. And in extreme cases you may find yourself almost starting to slouch or slip from your seat, not that the keyboardist seat is any immobile than the pedal to begin with. Solution: Try to kick it back (this is the time when the above experience suddenly comes in again). Just what's with the pedal, I wonder?



Confession...
Take a look at the following score:

=)

Well, since strings sound somewhat soft, and somewhat muffled such that demisemiquavers are not to distinct, and considering it does take up time and there are 5 other pieces to go, and considering this is but 2 bars in a 100 bar piece, and considering blah blah blah... sometimes I play just a note. (OK, most of the time, happy?) Hey, I'm not the only keyboardist around guilty right? Someone tell me I'm not the only one... pleeeese....



Lame Invention List + Misc

Inventions
- Metal-coated tea bag to help with the sinking (Edmund Lum)

- Sound-powered telephone (Edmund Lum)

- Sound-powered telephone (Edmund Lum)

- Plug-in phones for plugging into a payphone to call - unable to recieve call. However, 10 cents will still be needed and you pay your monthly phone bills as usual (Edmund Lum)

- A clean dirt-free rubbish chute (Edmund Lum)

- A touchpad keyboard similar to the touchpad on a laptop, with letters on it (Edmund Lum)

- USB-portable touchpad (Edmund Lum)

- A square CD for better storage (Edmund Lum)

- Battery-powered book (Edmund Lum)

- Disposable dustbins (Edmund Lum)

- A "short circuit" switch that help save electricity when there is nobody at home (Edmund Lum)

- A white/black highlighter (Edmund Lum)

- Safety deposit box made of pure diamond for hardness. It is transparent to allow better visual of objects within it (Edmund Lum)

- An optic mouse combined with a decorated ball placed inside like an old-school mouse to allow any surface usage (Edmund Lum)

- DIY handphone to cut cost (Edmund Lum)

- A plastic knife - no rusting and it is lighter (Edmund Lum)

- Quick dry glue, only 0.2 sec of dry time (Edmund Lum)

- Doorless toliet for faster access (Edmund Lum)

- A pen with wider pen hole to prevent that all-time infamous ink jam (Edmund Lum)

- A 5-mm thick paper to prevent paper cut (Edmund Lum)

- Water-proof toilet paper to prevent wetting the entire roll when dropped on a wet floor, or easy breakage (Edmund Lum)

- A thermal panel powered heater (Edmund Lum)

- A faq list for patients who do not want to reply to any visitors (Edmund Lum & Glass Cookie)

- A deodorant that puts people off (Mustard seed)

- An umbrella with a wire connection (to attract lightning) that's earthed (Edmund Lum)

- An earthquake detector that sounds when there's an earthquake (Edmund Lum)

- A water sensor at the shoreline to detect an approaching tsunami (Edmund Lum)

- A energy-saving fridge that switches itself on via a smell senser specially for detecting certain rotting smells (Edmund Lum)

- A fire extinguishing bomb that creates a huge area of vacuum (sounds familiar?) so as to deprive the fire of oxygen (Edmund Lum)

- A solar powered torchlight

- A power-saving exit sign that lights up only when someone is around (Gabriel Goh)

- A self-locking door that locks itself when no one's around and unlocks itself when someone's near (Edmund Lum)

- Pencil lead harder than steel to improve on its fragility (Edmund Lum)

- A water-proof teabag to prevent breakage over long periods of soaking (Edmund Lum)

- A manual powered air conditioner (Glass Cookie)

- A water-sensitive sprinkler (Edmund Lum)

- A auto retractable roof via light and water sensors, hidden in the wall for protection (Edmund Lum)

- An anti-burglary system with the switch and sensor in the same room (Edmund Lum)

- A wooden barbecue pit (Glass Cookie and Edmund Chen)

- An acrylic oil rig and drill bit to save $$$ (Glass Cookie and Edmund Chen)

- A windows based DOS command prompt program (Glass Cookie)

- A wired handphone (Jackson Lum)


Misc
- A birthday breakfast celebration (Glass Cookie and Jackson Lum)

- A domesticated grizzily bear (Glass Cookie, inspired by Amanda Low)