I'm From... ...

This is yet another non-crappy post. Skip this to the next for laughs.

I've got a feeling that I've been ranting lots and lots on my blog than I should have been crapping, but, but... I have to rant about this. I need to get it off my chest. This is something I've never mentioned before but felt very strongly.

People: "So what are you doing (in university) now?"
My thoughts: "Hmmm... should I say it? Should I? Should I? Should I? Think there's no harm."
Me: "I'm doing a*rospace engineering."
People: "Wow/Wa, so you must be [bah blah blah]..."
My thoughts: "Sigh, I forgot. Not again..."

Yup, I am in a*rospace engineering (I think I just mentioned it. Hmmm, anyway, read on...). It was being thought of as a prestigious course, rocket science and whatever cream-of-the-crop crap descriptions that you can think about. Well, initially I thought so too, until I entered university (and I feel more like I'm being tied onto some rocket heading towards nowhere). Right now, I'm totally sick of this a*rospace name being tagged with all kinds of crap expectations and false impressions, and for these things being tagged onto me:

[Note: Although 'we' is used below, I am not truly part of it though in it, in the sense that I am quite different from my cohort - being somewhere at the bottom]

A*rospace and non-a*rospace professors alike assume that we're at super-human standards in our studies.
It's not uncommon to hear stuff like "You're a*rospace students. So it's only right that your tests are set a higher standard than the cohort of engineering students. It's only fair." (Did they say it was fair? Don't we take the same final term paper and go through the same lectures?) But the thing is, I'm as normal as any engineering student could be. In fact, I'm bottom of my cohort. This is definitely not helping me. This caused me to think that, if not for a*rospace engineering, I could have gotten higher grades.

Somehow, it is believed that we will survive each and every circumstance that we're in, given our so-called super-human standards.
When certain lecturers couldn't explain their stuff, you could almost see the but-you-all-are-a*rospace-students-and-are-thus-safe-not-knowing (because we would probably find out on our own?) kind of expression/attitude. And they simply smoke us up. The fact is, I'm still as lost as can be. Erm, judge not an a*rospace student by his degree description?

Given the impression of super-human standards, we're blamed for bagging all the 'A's in the bell curve.
It is also not uncommon to hear from my friends saying, "Wa, you all a*rospace students score all the 'A's, leaving all the 'B's and 'C's to us". The fact that in my entire year one, I only managed to get 3 'A's of varying grades (ie. '+', '-') out of some 15 subjects after much difficulty indicated that I'm definitely not one of those "you all a*rospace students". In fact, this is how I feel towards my cohort for pushing up the standards. But, I get included with the general impression of the cohort anyway.

Well, I definitely did not get my undeserved (yup, I know it's undeserved. Read on and you'll understand) 'O' and 'A' level grades without a certain level of hard work, and more (if not, most) importantly, it was the Lord's mercy and grace upon me that I got those grades. And somehow, it seemed that I'm penalised for having such grades.

We are being segregated by lecturers.
Being described as the 'elite' and the cream-of-the-crop description is definitely not a nice thing to do in lectures with a*rospace and non-a*rospace students. And as always, soon after I would hear my non-a*rospace friends mention "ah, you see... you all cream of the crop". But, but, but, I'm at the bottom of the crop supporting whatever cream there may be... Somehow, with all these things going alone in lectures, I can't help but feel that my degree is some form of a barrier between my friends and I. In fact, it's not just a feeling. It's clear knowledge of this matter. At least I'm glad this isn't a barrier between my friends in church and I... I hope.

Among the cohort there is fierce competition.
It doesn't help that the head professor in his opening speech mentioned "A*rospace students are going to get all the 'A's" as part of his motivation and expectation (so much for a motivation huh?). Well, although such expectations are nothing new in such degrees, I'm sick, very sick, so totally sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick of it!!! ARRRGH!!! When my friends in engineering are worrying about "ta-pauing" (ie. retaking) any modules, here am I worrying if my ability of merely getting a B would cause me to drop further to the bottom of my cohort. And for such worries, I may be condemned by my non-a*rospace friends as being smug (which is not unexpected). ARRRGH!!!

Everyone brags about how badly they did.
Now, you must be wondering... something seemed wrong with this statement. Yup, this seemed wrong, but the fact that those who complained about crapped up papers ended up with all the 'A's (and here I am truly stating that my paper was really crapped up and miraculously getting around a B or so. I wanted to use the word 'merely' instead of 'around' to describe the grade, but given that it is a miracle, I shall not discount the miracle with that word) seemed to imply that there's glory in complaining about a badly done paper. It's a confusing world. And when I tell my engineering friends that the paper was horrible, I get doubted at, and my results get predicted at an 'A-' and above =/

In short, with all these nonsense, I can't help but feel ashamed telling people that I'm an a*rospace student given all the impressions and expectations being tagged along with it. Yup, you may be thinking that it's wrong to think this way, but this feeling is definitely inevitable.

Conclusion: Hmmm... From now onwards, maybe this is how I should answer:

People: "So what are you doing (in university) now?"
My thoughts: "Hmmm... should I say it? Should I? Should I? Should I? Yep. I should."
Me: "I'm doing mechanical engineering."
Expected reaction: "Oh, OK." [Full-stop]