Repetitive/Looping History
Although similar incidences have happened before, and that I have come up with enough rationalizations to convince myself that perhaps it's was "just them" and not me... I have reached a point in time when the effects of my rationalizations have started to diminish/fade/collaspe/crumble/erode/vanish-into-thin-air/vanish-into-thicker-air (ie. at sea level, where the air pressure is higher)... etc. Just this week, history repeated itself again. If you're thinking what kind of repetition of history could actually erode the effects of my rationalizations, perhaps this would paint a clearer picture: History repeated itself not once, not twice, but thrice!!! And at each repetition (in chronological order), the erosion increased in magnitude:
History Repetition Number 1
When Shannon's two friends came over to my hostel to explain a FYP problem to me, one of them took the lead in describing the problem (in english, that is). But she, being more comfortable in chinese (it seemed - read on for the context), started explaining concepts to me in chinese excitedly (and yup, I had to redirect lots of brain processing power for dedicated chinese language retrieval and decoding). Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks, then asked Shannon (and not me!) in chinese "eh, ni3 de4 pen2 you4 hui4 bu2 hui4 jiang3 hua2 yu3?". My goodness... Do I look like I can't understand chinese so badly (although I was nodding my head in agreement and somewhat understanding what she was saying) that she didn't even bother to ask me, but Shannon??? And just as I rationalised that perhaps it was just her preference for speaking in chinese, and that it was probably a coincidence...
History Repetition Number 2
Right after the meeting with Shannon's friends, Shannon, Joel and I headed to the canteen for dinner. After slowly choosing what to eat, and finally deciding on the western stall, I went over to that stall to order my food and noticed that the store holder was a chinese national. Immediately I was greeted and she spoke something in chinese. Because the canteen was too noisy, she wasn't speaking too loudly, and that she was standing some distance from me, I responded with a "huh?" alongside a look that tried to convey (well, I guess 'tried' would be the best description, since it didn't quite work out, as you would find out as you read on) a sorry-but-I-couldn't-hear-you expression. And to my horror, her immediate response was to change her language to English. NOOOO!!! At this, I tried to think out a rationalization, but... sigh, it didn't really come out. And just as I was thinking about it the very next day...
History Repetition Number 3
It was lunch alone during my one-hour break, and a girl came to my table and asked me if I could understand chinese, with the intention of introducing me some organization of some sort. Well, my immediate rationalization was "Hey, she has to be more comfortable speaking in chinese. Yup, that's for sure! She could be new in her job/cca/sai kang/whatever-else-along-those-lines and chinese would help her express herself better.". And after she left, she proceeded to the table behind me. As she had to face a group of people, she increased her volume, and as such, I could hear her speak. But, but... this time... to my alarm/unexpected-of-unexpecteds/shock-of-shocks/horror-of-horrors-after-two-terrible-horrors/horror-of-many-other-horrors-excluding-two-recent-horrors... she started speaking to them in chinese without even asking them for their language preference. I was speechless/rationalizationless. Thoughts ran through my head. Sadly, no rationalizations could be found among those thoughts however hard I may have tried I tried to convince myself that it wasn't because I looked like I didn't understand/speak chinese, but that it was "just her".
Then again, I guess I should be thankful that most of my friends speak to me in English. And for that, I have no complaints. =) Oh no... what if they spoke in english because... Nah, they could well be english-speaking people (hmmm, that sounded/read obvious. If they weren't english-speaking people, what else could they possibly be?). Yup, yup, that must be it.
Thought: If history's art (and exponential rate) of eroding my rationalizations were translated into physical soil erosion on Mount Everest starting wednesday, it would have been a grassland by the end of this week.
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