The Nightmare...

Nope, this blog is not about a crappy subconscious trying to play tricks on me during my sleep. Rather, it's about reality. Just last week, it was my first theory lesson after a long time, since I thought I'd better do something about incomplete items (I knew that my incomplete theory grades, like sight-reading, would somehow come back to haunt me one fine day when I decided to stop it many years back. Hmmm...) in my music life. Well, for a start, it was freaky to me. That's because... Hmmm, I think it's better to give a rough recount (ie. disclaimer: inaccuracy of the exact words and probably the order may be present) of what had happened:

[Note: although the word 'handwriting' is used, it is referred to music handwriting - if there's such a term for it - or better known as my tau gei writings. It is not the usual handwriting in the form of english words]

Miss R: OK, bring out/me your grade 6 theory books...

Glass Cookie (after searching for some books here and there): Here they are.

Miss R (fliping through a book): Oh, so you have this book. I think this is one of the better ones.

[Glass Cookie (G.C.) caught a glance of the contents in the book and thought to himself: No, no, this can't be my book. At most it would be one of those hand-down books or from somewhere unknown to me. That's because... I could tell by judging from the handwriting of those scores. In fact, those seemed to be the tau geis of a grade 1 kiddo. The tau geis resembled those that were planted beside a nuclear reactor with leaks, and somehow, they mutated and grew up to be huge and somewhat thick. Well, check out the pic below (although musicians would be able to better appreciate the nature of score writing)...]


G.C. (confidently): Yup, and it's definitely not mine.

Miss R: Is it? But look at this... this is my handwriting on the book.

G.C. (in disbelief): Huh? Cannot be la. I mean, take a look at the handwriting. It's not mine. Maybe that particular teacher happened to have a similar handwriting as you? I have a classmate whose handwriting is so similar to mine so much so that I sometimes get confused over whether her answer script was mine during labs, and vice versa.

Miss R: No, I know my handwriting. Look at this (pointing to something in the book). Only I would write something like that. I know my style.

G.C. (with his confidence starting to erode): No, no, this can't be. I mean, could it be? The handwriting is horrible la... (G.C. recalls an earlier time in secondary school when someone mentioned that his tau geis looked somewhat nice to that can't-remember-who-someone, rationalizes, and is trying to gain back that confidence. Sadly, erosion takes place at an exponential/geometric rate whereas the confidence builds up at merely an arithmetic rate). Nope, it can't be mine. ... ... I hope (but the last two words were not voiced out so as to maintain that outward appearance of composure and confidence of G.C's stand).

Miss R (with confidence): It has to be la. I can't be wrong about my handwriting. You see this (pointing to yet another portion in the book)... This is definitely my handwriting/style la.

G.C. (seemingly entering the first stage of denial): Oh no, this can't be. You mean my handwriting was actually that bad? Oh no... (feelings of a mild depression has started to creep in, at the thought of his handwriting being that bad merely a few years back)

Miss R (beaming, somewhat): You see, you see, just that you don't know how bad it was only.

G.C. (something's telling him that something [though this something is not referring to the earlier something at the start of the rounded brackets. OK, if it's confusing, ignore it. It's 2 a.m. and crappiness is increasing] is really not right): Hmmm... give me a minute. Let me check. I just cannot believe that it's my handwriting.

[G.C. goes off to the side of the piano to get out other music theory books to verify the existence of a freaky handwriting in his past]

G.C. (with relief): Aha! I found it. I knew it! It's not mine. Phew! You see how thick and huge those tau geis are... how could it be mine?

[OK, from this point onwards, G.C's terrapins life would be hanging on the line/in danger/at high risk (yup, this is a clue as to whose book it might well have been, if you have been checking out this blog often enough. Then again, it doesn't really matter since it would be mentioned anyway. Hmmm, why then am I bothering to type so much? Hmmm, better get back to the topic...) as more would be revealed]

Miss R (thinking, then recalling something): Oh, I remember now. It's actually [Glass Cookie's sis]'s book. [Glass Cookie's sis] actually took grade 6 theory from me also?

G.C. (almost fainting from such a mistake): What???!!! Well, I'm glad that was not my handwriting. See, I told you...

And, just to prove the point that it is definitely not my handwriting, and as to why I could possibly feel depressed over having [Glass Cookie's sis]'s kind of handwriting, it's because of this: I've always taken pride in writing tau geis that look acceptable to me (I dare not say it looked nice or great, but I do take effort in writing those tau geis out). And with that kind of effort put in, only to get the above-displayed (I guess 'above-mentioned' would be inappropriate since I did post a picture, and a picture speaks a thousand words. Then again, if a picture did speak a thousand words, shouldn't it be 'above-said' or 'above-spoken'? Still, a mere picture doesn't produce voice [and if it did speak, it would be really freaky] and as such, it can't be the case. Hmmm... or should it be 'above-displayed-cum-quasi-spoken'? OK, it seems that once again, I have drifted from the topic again. Back to the topic...) kind of result, it's definitely a depressive thought. Just in case you're curious, here's a sample of my tau geis:


Thought: Sigh, if only my english handwriting looked half as neat as my music and chinese (yup, you didn't read wrongly. But that's another topic, another day if I ever get to blog about it) handwriting, I could have easily saved myself half the complaints from teachers since primary school.