A Barely-Two-Minutes-But-Definitely-Traumatising Experience

Today, I was browsing through a list of blogs and somehow, a friend's blog happened to catch my attention. Basically, she needed something which could only be found in Bugis and some areas around central Singapore, and it would be nice if someone could get it for her considering that she lives in Tampines and it does take time to travel that far. Coincidentally, I happened to be meeting Shannon and Joel for dinner at Bugis, so, I thought I'd be nice and do her a favour. And so, to Parco I went. And well, that was the start of the barely-two-minutes-but-definitely-traumatic experience. And so, this was what had happened:

[Glass Cookie (GC) stands before the SASA shop at Parco, and somehow, he couldn't help but notice that it's somewhat pink, be it the exterior or interior of the shpop]

GC's thoughts (rationalizing): Nah, I shouldn't stereotype pink as something totally female. Yup. I mean... could it be?...

[As GC observes the shop, he couldn't help but notice that there are totally no males in the shop. Nope, not one at all. In fact, even the people working there are all females]

GC's thoughts (rationalizing again): Nah, even if it's an all-female shop, I'm sure some couple would just come in and offset the GC-being-the-only-male statistic of that shop to at-least-two-guys-in-a-seemingly-all-female-shop.

[GC hesitates for a short while, then enters the shop]

GC's thoughts: Hmmm, it's getting uncomfortable. I think I'd better get this over and done with, within the shortest possible time. And the best way to go is to get assistance. Yup.

GC (approaching a salesgirl at the counter): Erm... hi! Well, I'm getting something, and here's the message that was sent to me - a description of this particular product [showing the contents of the sms to the lady]. It's called Cellnique or something like that. Do you have it?

Salesgirl: Oh, OK. Wait a minute. I go and check.

[GC looks around uncomfortably. Unfortunately, the rationalization about couples strolling in didn't come to pass. In fact, the discomfort level has increased, since he couldn't help but notice that some females have noticed that he is the only male around]

GC's thoughts: Hey, some females/girls/salesgirls/arrrgh-it-doesn't-matter-who-they-are-since-female-is-what-they-all-are are looking in my direction. Is it such a rare sight to see a guy in such a shop? OK, I think it is after all. Sigh, I want to get out soon, really, really soon.

[A conversation took place between the salesgirl and someone probably her manager, to confirm the availability and location of the product. After that has been confirmed, the salesgirl approached GC]

Salesgirl: OK, we have it. Please follow me...

[GC is led to a shelf with lots of that Cellnique thingy]

GC (concerned, lest he should get the wrong product): So, this is the Cellnique pro sebum gel? And in some pink box?

[GC takes out his handphone, refers to the sms he received to confirm the description]

Salesgirl (with an almost seemingly cheeky look): Yes.

GC (convinced that it's the exact item): Yup, it suits the description. This is the one.

[Although the salesgirl took the product for GC to scan at the counter, he couldn't help but notice it's a product with a deep pink coloured casing with some design on it. It's definitely a what-people-would-refer-to-as-a-girly-thingy]

GC's thoughts: Oh man... the salesgirl had better not think I'm getting it for myself... Arrrgh, I want to get out of here, NOW (with fading echoes of "now, now, now, now..." resounding in his brain)!!!

[GC follows the salesgirl to the counter to pay for the item]

GC's thoughts (rationalizing): Nah, I doubt she would think like that. I mean, it's common for guys to buy things on behalf of their girlfriend, right? Although I have no idea if that's the norm... yup, she might just be thinking that I'm getting it for my girlfriend or something. Hmmm... it feels weird and uncomfortable to get something like that (now that I know what it is exactly). Oh well, everything's fine. Yup. Phew, it's getting over...

GC: Could I pay by NETS?

Salesgirl (smiling): Of course.

[This time, GC couldn't help but notice that the salesgirl is obviously smiling cheekily. Initially, perhaps she tried to hide it, but this time round, it's blatantly obvious]

GC's thoughts: Hmmm... why is she smiling like that? Hey, so what if I'm the only guy in this shop? And so what if I'm probably the only guy that entered today? Oh, no... what if I was probably the only guy that entered ever since this shop opened? Nah, that's not possible.

[After the transaction is over, the salesgirl passes GC his NETS card and GC starts to keep the card and receipt in his wallet]

Salesgirl (cheekily): So, are you buying it for yourself?

GC's thoughts (whatever you read in this line is an understatement): ARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

GC (maintaining composure, and trying to soundproof his brain so as not to let the above exclamation of worst-fear-come-true/worst-nightmare-come-true/horror-of-horrors/terror-of-terrors/nightmare-of-nightmares... etc. to leak out and cause an earthquake that would hit a Guinness Book record of 50 on the Richer scale and wiping out singapore from the face of the earth, and having stained his hands [or rather, his brains] with the blood of over 4 million people and having to be answerable for it): Erm... no... (wavering from the shock)... I'm... getting it for a friend.

GC's thoughts: Arrrgh!!! From that look I can see that you're (ie. the salesgirl) not convinced but... but... hey, I'm telling you the truth here, OK? A wavering kind of response doesn't mean I'm lying. OK, it's a terrible presention of the answer. Sigh... I mean, do I look like the vain kind of guy who would go to such a place and pretending to buy it for someone else? Hey, do I look like what they would call a metrosexual guy? Cannot be what...?

[GC tries not to look at the salesgirl and concentrates keeping the items, and popping the product into his bag. But somehow, at the corner of his eye, he could see that the salesgirl is smiling at an ever increasingly cheeky magnitude. Once all is done, GC immediately headed out of the shop without looking back]

And so, that was the brief summary of the barely-two-minute experience. And up till now, I'm still wondering what made her ask me that kind of a question. This is bad bad bad bad bad... and definitely traumatising.

Thought: It's amazing how the brain could process so many thoughts in such a short period of time.