A Cookie's Life

Warning: This is mostly a crappy blog. Crappers and crap-accepting folks alike: Welcome! To all others: Warning. Danger! Keep Out! Read On At Your Own Risk! The author shall by no means be liable for any damage caused directly or indirectly, implicitly or explicitly as a result of the reading of the contents of this blog.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Sanity Or Insanity?

Today was an interesting day. Someone approached me and this was how it all began:

[Glass Cookie (GC) walks past a coursemate just before the a*rospace materials lecture]

A*rospace coursemate [AC, and this has nothing to do with GC's junior college, nor a crappy friend that GC knows]: Hi!

GC (stopped in his tracks, though not too abruptly): Oh, Hi!

AC: So, may I know your first name?

GC (surprised, and wondering what's wrong with him): Oh, it's [GC's first name].

AC: And your last name?

GC: Well, it's [GC's last name].

AC: Oh, ok. Hi [GC's full name]. How are you?

GC: Well, not too bad.

GC's thoughts: Erm, don't you know me? Say, are you ok? Although I'm personally bad with names... I do know you well enough to remember your name what...?

AC (eagerly, with formality): Oh, that's good. Nice to meet you!

GC (sensing that he's gone crappy): Oh, nice to meet you too! So, have you managed to preserve your sanity?

AC: Well, not exactly.

GC (agreeing, as if he could empathise with him. Yup, it's empathy, not sympathy): Oh yea, with all the projects right?

AC (smiling): Definitely.

Well, although the above seemed like nothing much, and the phrase 'all the projects' merely sounded like the normal homework just like the kind everyone is exposed to, allow me to elaborate on what kind of stuff the lecturers here are doing/giving. In fact, it's so bad, all one could do (or perhaps it's only me and a handful in where I am) is to try his or her best to preserve one's sanity. And, trust me, it's not easy to retain one's sanity. In fact, I almost feel as if it doesn't matter if I lose more of my sanity or not, because... because... there's nothing much of my sanity left to be lost.

Well, for one of the sanity-consuming projects that caused my entire team of 5 people to work through the night from 8 p.m. till 7 a.m. (although the lack of sleep was definitely a contributing factors to all the frenzies and craziness, it's but a teeny weeny bit, really) in the morning, here was what the project looked like:

Well, you might ask: So what's the big deal? It's only some bunch of seats and a toilet arranged just like in the floor plan of the A380. Well, maybe you might also want to take a look at this:

Yup. It's a normal chair and a wheelchair. It's nothing impressive. It's merely two of those chairs that you see in the assembly. So, let's take a closer look at a small component of the wheelchair:

Just in case you're wondering what this is, it's the part at the base of the wheelchair, to lock the wheelchair in place. Hmmm... if by now, you're still thinking that the project was still simple, maybe this picture would elaborate more:

If you're wondering where this fits into, see the holes at the bottom of the locking mechanism? Yup, this little nut and bolt goes in there. And just in case you're also wondering, yup, the entire wheelchair is made up of blocks, rods, cushions, wheels and pieces, all created and assembled together. If you thought that was all, after I've gone down 4 levels, nah - that's not all. I mean, how simple could life possibly get in engineering in my case? In fact, there's one more level:

Yup, even this cute (well, if it's cute to you in the first place) little nut is part of an assembly. Sadly/tragically/horrifically/[whichever-3-words-first-mentioned]-which-is-an-understatement/I-can't-think-of-a-worse-word-or-phrase, there's one more level down after the above mentioned "one more level" - the most basic of all levels:

Firstly, we have to draw a shape, set all the dimensions properly, make sure all the lines are connected, and then create a block. Then, we draw a circle, set all the dimensions so that it's exactly in the middle of the block, then cut a hole through. That's how we got the nut. So, all you see in this all-but-one-out-of-7-other-projects (though the 7 are of varying magnitudes of difficulty and commitment required) were created from scratch. It's no wonder why I have to come online to rant about stuff in order to keep my sanity, or rather, whatever sanity that's left.

And it's interesting how history just loves to repeat itself just like an old grandmother/grandfather. In fact, it's more cheong hei than an old grandmother/grandfather considering that history enjoyed repeated itself all the way from Adam up till now, and would continue to do so till the end of time. Doesn't it get tired or something? Oh, just in case I drift away from the main topic about history having to go for some memory booster programme to remind itself that it has repeated itself several times (erm, pardon me for getting crappier... it's 1:40 a.m. now, you see)...

[some time after the initial spontaneous, yet formal greeting from AC]

AC: Hey, since you like IT so much, why are you in a*rospace engineering?

GC (sigh, once again, history has repeated itself for the as-countless-as-the-computer-engineering-question-plus-one time): Well, beats me.

Since it's been a crazy 2 weeks that I've gone through, yup. I shall declare a holiday (Hmmm, come to think about it, since it's at night, it should be a declared holinight rather than a holiday. It's dark outside...) for today and simply rest. I'll probably start work only later today, considering it's past midnight =)

Conclusion: With a burning passion, I dare say... ... nah... better not be cheong hei lest I should rival some grandfather of some sort in the art of repetition.

Thought: I need to preserve my sanity...



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List Of My All-Time Big Stunts In M&D

30 Jul 2006 - When Silence Is Golden 2
It's funny how history repeats itself in a different form. This time, I minimised the volume of the keyboard to zero to try out a new song "I believe in miracles". And for yet (again, miraculously, ironically) another bizarre reason that I know not of, I actually turned the volume up WITHOUT knowing - and CONTINUED practising. Somehow the amplifiers were turned off by the sound guys (probably a safety measure against stuntmen like me?) until they could finally silence it no more and suddenly, out of the nowhere (oh, sorry, that would be the keyboard) came a loud note that penetrated the silence. I jerked in shock (very obviously). And yes, once again it's during the announcement time when silence is definitely golden.



04 Jun 2006 - Time and Congregation Waits For No Man
It was another faithful day in church, playing the keyboard for morning service, 9 and 11 a.m. After the 2nd service praise & worship session, it so happened that no one else could make it for the closing song. Well, since I was pretty free, I was asked to play it. So, I went down, charted out the chords, practised the piece in the tabernacle. On my way up the stairs, the first thought in my mind was: "Hey, it's so crowded. I need to get up the stairs. Now, how do I queeeeeze my way through?". The second thought in my mind was: "Hey, why is there a crowd coming down at this time? ... ... ... NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Man, time passes fast when you're practising the piano in church, and painstakingly slowly when it comes to exam pieces.



[No date] When Silence Is Golden
It was during the announcement, when pastor was giving out announcements before the offering song. Silence was observed as the pastor spoke. I retracted my hand from the score folder beyond the keyboard. For some amazing reason, my hand retraction path headed for the keys of the keyboard. And since the word 'fast' to describe the retraction rate was an understatement (for yet another reason I know not of)... you know the rest of the story.



[No Date] When Silence Is... Anything But Golden
Hmmm... once the amplifier on my side was switched off for some reason during praise & worship. And for some other reason that I know not of, I thought that the keyboard sound couldn't be heard. So, I tried pressing some keys. Didn't hear anything - drums were too loud. I proceeded to bang some keys repeatedly until... hmmm... I thought I heard something. Oh oh... ONLY my amplifier was turned off. (Note: Instrument: Brass sect 1, volume - max.)




List Of Other Small Stunts/Experiences In M&D

Fastest Fingers First
As a keyboardist, one usually comes into contact with different instruments within the same piece. It usually varies from strings, brass, violin to organ sounds. The funny thing is that sometimes, it is possible that your mind suddenly goes blank, and when the next instrument is required, I go "Oh no, what's the number combination for brass???!!! Wait wait wait wait...". And as usual, time and tide waits for no man. No. More accurately, a drummer waits for no number-fumbling keyboardist. Yea, that's the description man. Solution (ok, this is not a solution but an undesired consequence): Play a brass part with strings, or an organ part with brass, or none at all.



Cold Fingers
Usually, the atmosphere in the sanctuary is very cold to me. Sometimes, the atmosphere in the sanctuary is deep-freeze cold. Under cold or colder conditions, the fingers may or will harden and lose its dexterity. Then again, stuff could still be played, however stiff the fingers may be (with diminishing quality). Solution? Rub them while resting, or else, take off one playing hand and rub it vigorously without catching too much attention. I mean, what else can i do? I remove both hands when I need them ON they keyboard!!! Oh, I missed out that hand-clapping would be a sure kill to whatever heat you may have desperately tried to generate.



Record Breaker
Well, each week CD-RWs and envelopes used to contain the scores passed to musicians would be recycled. They are returned back to the musician's basket in the metal cabinet so that they can be used again. Of course, each time a person would return his/her envelope and CD used the previous week. Well, just somewhere in the 3rd week of June 2006 I returned a record holding of (prehaps of all-time in Lighthouse Evangelism's 16 years of establishment) of 9 envelopes with 3 missing somewhere at home. Oh well, you can't really blame me cause for the first time in my life, I saw the word "envelope" in the sms reminder about recycling. Or at least I would like to think so, about my first time noticing that word (fingers crossed).



Stubborn Pedal
Do you have any idea what it is like to have a pedal refusing to budge when moved with your feet, only to exceed its ideal position when you decide to set your adjusting strength to "brutal level". At that kind of rate, it just never gets to the position that you want it to be. Last resort: Bend down and move it with your hand just before the drummer starts his 4-beat intro to the next song.



Moving Pedal
Amazingly, although the pedal refuses to budge when you want it to, somehow it also refuses to stay in the spot when you want it to. And the more you pedal, the further it gets away from you no matter how you position your foot. And in extreme cases you may find yourself almost starting to slouch or slip from your seat, not that the keyboardist seat is any immobile than the pedal to begin with. Solution: Try to kick it back (this is the time when the above experience suddenly comes in again). Just what's with the pedal, I wonder?



Confession...
Take a look at the following score:

=)

Well, since strings sound somewhat soft, and somewhat muffled such that demisemiquavers are not to distinct, and considering it does take up time and there are 5 other pieces to go, and considering this is but 2 bars in a 100 bar piece, and considering blah blah blah... sometimes I play just a note. (OK, most of the time, happy?) Hey, I'm not the only keyboardist around guilty right? Someone tell me I'm not the only one... pleeeese....



Inventions
- Metal-coated tea bag to help with the sinking (Edmund Lum)

- Sound-powered telephone (Edmund Lum)

- Sound-powered telephone (Edmund Lum)

- Plug-in phones for plugging into a payphone to call - unable to recieve call. However, 10 cents will still be needed and you pay your monthly phone bills as usual (Edmund Lum)

- A clean dirt-free rubbish chute (Edmund Lum)

- A touchpad keyboard similar to the touchpad on a laptop, with letters on it (Edmund Lum)

- USB-portable touchpad (Edmund Lum)

- A square CD for better storage (Edmund Lum)

- Battery-powered book (Edmund Lum)

- Disposable dustbins (Edmund Lum)

- A "short circuit" switch that help save electricity when there is nobody at home (Edmund Lum)

- A white/black highlighter (Edmund Lum)

- Safety deposit box made of pure diamond for hardness. It is transparent to allow better visual of objects within it (Edmund Lum)

- An optic mouse combined with a decorated ball placed inside like an old-school mouse to allow any surface usage (Edmund Lum)

- DIY handphone to cut cost (Edmund Lum)

- A plastic knife - no rusting and it is lighter (Edmund Lum)

- Quick dry glue, only 0.2 sec of dry time (Edmund Lum)

- Doorless toliet for faster access (Edmund Lum)

- A pen with wider pen hole to prevent that all-time infamous ink jam (Edmund Lum)

- A 5-mm thick paper to prevent paper cut (Edmund Lum)

- Water-proof toilet paper to prevent wetting the entire roll when dropped on a wet floor, or easy breakage (Edmund Lum)

- A thermal panel powered heater (Edmund Lum)

- A faq list for patients who do not want to reply to any visitors (Edmund Lum & Glass Cookie)

- A deodorant that puts people off (Mustard seed)

- An umbrella with a wire connection (to attract lightning) that's earthed (Edmund Lum)

- An earthquake detector that sounds when there's an earthquake (Edmund Lum)

- A water sensor at the shoreline to detect an approaching tsunami (Edmund Lum)

- A energy-saving fridge that switches itself on via a smell senser specially for detecting certain rotting smells (Edmund Lum)

- A fire extinguishing bomb that creates a huge area of vacuum (sounds familiar?) so as to deprive the fire of oxygen (Edmund Lum)

- A solar powered torchlight

- A power-saving exit sign that lights up only when someone is around (Gabriel Goh)

- A self-locking door that locks itself when no one's around and unlocks itself when someone's near (Edmund Lum)

- Pencil lead harder than steel to improve on its fragility (Edmund Lum)

- A water-proof teabag to prevent breakage over long periods of soaking (Edmund Lum)

- A manual powered air conditioner (Glass Cookie)

- A water-sensitive sprinkler (Edmund Lum)

- A auto retractable roof via light and water sensors, hidden in the wall for protection (Edmund Lum)

- An anti-burglary system with the switch and sensor in the same room (Edmund Lum)

- A wooden barbecue pit (Glass Cookie and Edmund Chen)

- An acrylic oil rig and drill bit to save $$$ (Glass Cookie and Edmund Chen)

- A windows based DOS command prompt program (Glass Cookie)

- A wired handphone (Jackson Lum)


Misc
- A birthday breakfast celebration (Glass Cookie and Jackson Lum)

- A domesticated grizzily bear (Glass Cookie, inspired by Amanda Low)