A Cookie's Life

Warning: This is mostly a crappy blog. Crappers and crap-accepting folks alike: Welcome! To all others: Warning. Danger! Keep Out! Read On At Your Own Risk! The author shall by no means be liable for any damage caused directly or indirectly, implicitly or explicitly as a result of the reading of the contents of this blog.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The T43 Interview Sequel²

No thanks to some coffee, I'm awake at night. And since much sanity has been lost coupled with the fact that it is 1:43 a.m. in the morning...

Interviewer [this was the same interviewer in the previous interview]: Hi Glass Cookie's (GC) laptop. I believe we have met.

GC's laptop: You are...? Who are you anyway? Well, I do not have to know you, but you have to know me.

Interviewer (taken aback, and almost offended): Hmmm... why is that so?

GC's laptop: Well, considering that this is my master's 100th post, I am the star of the day man.

Intervewer (irritated, but trying to sound as polite as could be with a forced smile): Whatever you say then.

GC's laptop: Of course. I'm the star, I'm the star... [produces an excited and happy sound] I'm the star...

Interviewer: So, how has your master been?

GC's laptop: Hey, why aren't you asking me how I am?

Interviewer (with the look on his face that says that his purpose about finding more about GC is not going to be that straightforward once again): Alright, alright. So, how have you been?

GC's laptop: Terrible! Terrible, terrible, terrible! So much for calling it his 3rd hell week. My master actually forgot that me - his laptop - is going through these hell weeks with him.

Interviewer (with the hope that all could be found out about GC through this laptop's babbling): Oh, how did you go through these 3 weeks?

GC's laptop: I had to present his notes, run powerpoints, run programming languages, run this, run that. And to top it all, music is always running and it takes up and average of 5% of all my processing.

Interviewer (puzzled): But, 5% is quite little right?

GC's laptop: So? It's still 5%. A c-o-n-s-i-s-t-e-n-t 5% whenever he's around.

Interviewer (remembering something): Hey, from my records, you once mentioned that he stopped programming, right?

GC's laptop: Yup. That's true. But his lecturer wanted him to code whatever theory he learnt in c++ for a CA. On top of that, he undertook a freelance programming assignment. That's why. Well, at least that made me feel more like a programmer's laptop, though no longer anymore [produces a lamenting sound]. And no thanks to that tiramisu of his sis' during dinner!!! [displays a picture of the face of an irritated person on its screen]

Interviewer (puzzled and intrigued): Erm, why do you not feel it any longer? And what has it got to do with a tiramisu?

GC's laptop: He uninstalled some JCreator for some Java programming. With a programming language less on my system, I'm a lesser programmer's laptop. Isn't that sad?

Interviewer: Erm, although I couldn't identify with you on that, I guess it should be sad. And... the tiramisu... what's the link?

GC's laptop: Oh well, it's just my guess. I overheard him complaining about some coffee in tiramisu. Apparently, he forgot that tiramisu contains coffee and he took a bite of it during dinner and now he's complaining. And yea, yea, that same ole story as always about coffee.

Interviewer (sensing that it is going off-topic, but he is curious to find out): Okay... and what of that 'ole' story?

GC's laptop: Well, according to his story, once he went for some church camp when he was a kiddo. And after drinking 2 cups of bitter coffee during breakfast to keep awake, he went up to his room to rest for a while. Before he knew it, his parents were knocking urgently on the door because he fell asleep for over 45 minutes.

Interviewer: Wow... was that some sleep inducing coffee?

GC's laptop: If only it were sleep inducing coffee, I wouldn't feel a part of me missing now.

Interviewer: So, what of that sleep inducing part of coffee? How did it make you a lesser-programmer's laptop as you've described?

GC's laptop: Oh, I've not completed the story.

Interviewer (with that -.-" look): OK. Go on...

GC's laptop: Then after many years, there was a number of evenings around 7-9 p.m. or so when he consumed a coffee sweet or a coffee cake. Those were the dreadful nights when he would be tossing and turning around until 4 a.m. or so. I'm glad I wasn't bought then. Goodness knows what kind of a life it'll be for me. It would have been utterly dreadful!

Interviewer (seeing no link): So, how do the two parts of the story link?

GC's laptop: Well, it's simple. His conclusion of the matter was that, coffee worked for him when he least needed it, and it failed him when he needed it the most.

Interviewer (seeing no link still, and getting a little impatient): So, what has this conclusion got to do with you losing a part of yourself?

GC's laptop: He uninstalled JCreator because of that!!!

Interviewer (with the thought that it's getting no where): What has JCreator got to do with coffee? If I recall correctly, that's Java programming right?

GC's laptop: Yup. It is. Although I have no proof, I suspect that he did it out of spite. You see, the logo for Java is a cup of coffee. Worse still, they came up with NetBeans, which is yet another Java programming tool. He might well have been so irritated with that tiramisu, coffee and its beans that he uninstalled anything that has got to do with Java and their non-drinkable coffee products. And there goes JCreator... [produces a lamenting sound] I'm a lesser programmer's laptop... sigh...

Interviewer: OK, but what if he uninstalled it because he didn't need it? Say, was he a Java programmer?

GC's laptop: Hey, come to think about it, yup, I think that is possible. He doesn't deal much with Java. In fact, he installed it in preparation for computer programming, which required it. Well, although it might well have nothing to do with coffee, a part of me is still lost. Sigh...

Interviewer: So, how has Glass Cookie been?

GC's laptop: It has been terrible for me! I have to complete 8 of his nonsensical projects from his core, and another one from his elective. They range from programming to solidworks modelling, from typing essays and powerpoints to notes downloading and reading. And all these on top of music!!!

Interviewer (mumbling to himself): But I wasn't asking about you...

GC's laptop: Huh? Could you speak louder? I can't hear you.

Interviewer (wondering if he might have been heard, and taken by surprise): Well... erm... Oh, yup. At least you seem fine to me. Oh, back to what I wanted to ask initially, is your master fine?

GC's laptop: Well, he mentioned about trying to preserve his sanity. He'd better, or there would be no end to his slave driving. Can you imagine, me working through the night from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. once? Just as I thought his roomie's laptop was the only poor fellow working through the night...

Interviewer (satisfied that he has gathered enough data): Well, I guess that's enough for today. I'll take my leave now.

GC's laptop: Hey, you've not given me a name yet!

Interviewer (pretending not to hear it, waves his hand and starts walking away ): So long!

[The interviewer's steps increases in terms of distance covered and frequency at the laptop's increased bugging, gradually to that of a frantic run]


Wow... never underestimate the freaky powers of coffee. I shall try to enter lala land by force now, even if it meant a humiliating surrender to the z-monster during battle.

posted by Glass Cookie @ 2:44 AM 



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List Of My All-Time Big Stunts In M&D

30 Jul 2006 - When Silence Is Golden 2
It's funny how history repeats itself in a different form. This time, I minimised the volume of the keyboard to zero to try out a new song "I believe in miracles". And for yet (again, miraculously, ironically) another bizarre reason that I know not of, I actually turned the volume up WITHOUT knowing - and CONTINUED practising. Somehow the amplifiers were turned off by the sound guys (probably a safety measure against stuntmen like me?) until they could finally silence it no more and suddenly, out of the nowhere (oh, sorry, that would be the keyboard) came a loud note that penetrated the silence. I jerked in shock (very obviously). And yes, once again it's during the announcement time when silence is definitely golden.



04 Jun 2006 - Time and Congregation Waits For No Man
It was another faithful day in church, playing the keyboard for morning service, 9 and 11 a.m. After the 2nd service praise & worship session, it so happened that no one else could make it for the closing song. Well, since I was pretty free, I was asked to play it. So, I went down, charted out the chords, practised the piece in the tabernacle. On my way up the stairs, the first thought in my mind was: "Hey, it's so crowded. I need to get up the stairs. Now, how do I queeeeeze my way through?". The second thought in my mind was: "Hey, why is there a crowd coming down at this time? ... ... ... NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Man, time passes fast when you're practising the piano in church, and painstakingly slowly when it comes to exam pieces.



[No date] When Silence Is Golden
It was during the announcement, when pastor was giving out announcements before the offering song. Silence was observed as the pastor spoke. I retracted my hand from the score folder beyond the keyboard. For some amazing reason, my hand retraction path headed for the keys of the keyboard. And since the word 'fast' to describe the retraction rate was an understatement (for yet another reason I know not of)... you know the rest of the story.



[No Date] When Silence Is... Anything But Golden
Hmmm... once the amplifier on my side was switched off for some reason during praise & worship. And for some other reason that I know not of, I thought that the keyboard sound couldn't be heard. So, I tried pressing some keys. Didn't hear anything - drums were too loud. I proceeded to bang some keys repeatedly until... hmmm... I thought I heard something. Oh oh... ONLY my amplifier was turned off. (Note: Instrument: Brass sect 1, volume - max.)




List Of Other Small Stunts/Experiences In M&D

Fastest Fingers First
As a keyboardist, one usually comes into contact with different instruments within the same piece. It usually varies from strings, brass, violin to organ sounds. The funny thing is that sometimes, it is possible that your mind suddenly goes blank, and when the next instrument is required, I go "Oh no, what's the number combination for brass???!!! Wait wait wait wait...". And as usual, time and tide waits for no man. No. More accurately, a drummer waits for no number-fumbling keyboardist. Yea, that's the description man. Solution (ok, this is not a solution but an undesired consequence): Play a brass part with strings, or an organ part with brass, or none at all.



Cold Fingers
Usually, the atmosphere in the sanctuary is very cold to me. Sometimes, the atmosphere in the sanctuary is deep-freeze cold. Under cold or colder conditions, the fingers may or will harden and lose its dexterity. Then again, stuff could still be played, however stiff the fingers may be (with diminishing quality). Solution? Rub them while resting, or else, take off one playing hand and rub it vigorously without catching too much attention. I mean, what else can i do? I remove both hands when I need them ON they keyboard!!! Oh, I missed out that hand-clapping would be a sure kill to whatever heat you may have desperately tried to generate.



Record Breaker
Well, each week CD-RWs and envelopes used to contain the scores passed to musicians would be recycled. They are returned back to the musician's basket in the metal cabinet so that they can be used again. Of course, each time a person would return his/her envelope and CD used the previous week. Well, just somewhere in the 3rd week of June 2006 I returned a record holding of (prehaps of all-time in Lighthouse Evangelism's 16 years of establishment) of 9 envelopes with 3 missing somewhere at home. Oh well, you can't really blame me cause for the first time in my life, I saw the word "envelope" in the sms reminder about recycling. Or at least I would like to think so, about my first time noticing that word (fingers crossed).



Stubborn Pedal
Do you have any idea what it is like to have a pedal refusing to budge when moved with your feet, only to exceed its ideal position when you decide to set your adjusting strength to "brutal level". At that kind of rate, it just never gets to the position that you want it to be. Last resort: Bend down and move it with your hand just before the drummer starts his 4-beat intro to the next song.



Moving Pedal
Amazingly, although the pedal refuses to budge when you want it to, somehow it also refuses to stay in the spot when you want it to. And the more you pedal, the further it gets away from you no matter how you position your foot. And in extreme cases you may find yourself almost starting to slouch or slip from your seat, not that the keyboardist seat is any immobile than the pedal to begin with. Solution: Try to kick it back (this is the time when the above experience suddenly comes in again). Just what's with the pedal, I wonder?



Confession...
Take a look at the following score:

=)

Well, since strings sound somewhat soft, and somewhat muffled such that demisemiquavers are not to distinct, and considering it does take up time and there are 5 other pieces to go, and considering this is but 2 bars in a 100 bar piece, and considering blah blah blah... sometimes I play just a note. (OK, most of the time, happy?) Hey, I'm not the only keyboardist around guilty right? Someone tell me I'm not the only one... pleeeese....



Lame Invention List + Misc

Inventions
- Metal-coated tea bag to help with the sinking (Edmund Lum)

- Sound-powered telephone (Edmund Lum)

- Sound-powered telephone (Edmund Lum)

- Plug-in phones for plugging into a payphone to call - unable to recieve call. However, 10 cents will still be needed and you pay your monthly phone bills as usual (Edmund Lum)

- A clean dirt-free rubbish chute (Edmund Lum)

- A touchpad keyboard similar to the touchpad on a laptop, with letters on it (Edmund Lum)

- USB-portable touchpad (Edmund Lum)

- A square CD for better storage (Edmund Lum)

- Battery-powered book (Edmund Lum)

- Disposable dustbins (Edmund Lum)

- A "short circuit" switch that help save electricity when there is nobody at home (Edmund Lum)

- A white/black highlighter (Edmund Lum)

- Safety deposit box made of pure diamond for hardness. It is transparent to allow better visual of objects within it (Edmund Lum)

- An optic mouse combined with a decorated ball placed inside like an old-school mouse to allow any surface usage (Edmund Lum)

- DIY handphone to cut cost (Edmund Lum)

- A plastic knife - no rusting and it is lighter (Edmund Lum)

- Quick dry glue, only 0.2 sec of dry time (Edmund Lum)

- Doorless toliet for faster access (Edmund Lum)

- A pen with wider pen hole to prevent that all-time infamous ink jam (Edmund Lum)

- A 5-mm thick paper to prevent paper cut (Edmund Lum)

- Water-proof toilet paper to prevent wetting the entire roll when dropped on a wet floor, or easy breakage (Edmund Lum)

- A thermal panel powered heater (Edmund Lum)

- A faq list for patients who do not want to reply to any visitors (Edmund Lum & Glass Cookie)

- A deodorant that puts people off (Mustard seed)

- An umbrella with a wire connection (to attract lightning) that's earthed (Edmund Lum)

- An earthquake detector that sounds when there's an earthquake (Edmund Lum)

- A water sensor at the shoreline to detect an approaching tsunami (Edmund Lum)

- A energy-saving fridge that switches itself on via a smell senser specially for detecting certain rotting smells (Edmund Lum)

- A fire extinguishing bomb that creates a huge area of vacuum (sounds familiar?) so as to deprive the fire of oxygen (Edmund Lum)

- A solar powered torchlight

- A power-saving exit sign that lights up only when someone is around (Gabriel Goh)

- A self-locking door that locks itself when no one's around and unlocks itself when someone's near (Edmund Lum)

- Pencil lead harder than steel to improve on its fragility (Edmund Lum)

- A water-proof teabag to prevent breakage over long periods of soaking (Edmund Lum)

- A manual powered air conditioner (Glass Cookie)

- A water-sensitive sprinkler (Edmund Lum)

- A auto retractable roof via light and water sensors, hidden in the wall for protection (Edmund Lum)

- An anti-burglary system with the switch and sensor in the same room (Edmund Lum)

- A wooden barbecue pit (Glass Cookie and Edmund Chen)

- An acrylic oil rig and drill bit to save $$$ (Glass Cookie and Edmund Chen)

- A windows based DOS command prompt program (Glass Cookie)

- A wired handphone (Jackson Lum)


Misc
- A birthday breakfast celebration (Glass Cookie and Jackson Lum)

- A domesticated grizzily bear (Glass Cookie, inspired by Amanda Low)